Late Breaking Read online

  LATE BREAKING

  Late Breaking

  STORIES

  K.D. MILLER

  BIBLIOASIS

  WINDSOR, ON

  Copyright © K.D. Miller, 2018

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher or a license from The Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency (Access Copyright). For an Access Copyright license visit www.accesscopyright.ca or call toll free to 1-800-893-5777.

  FIRST EDITION

  Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

  Miller, K. D. (Kathleen Daisy), 1951-, author

  Late breaking / K.D. Miller.

  Short stories.

  Issued in print and electronic formats.

  ISBN 978-1-77196-247-6 (softcover).--ISBN 978-1-77196-248-3 (ebook)

  I. Title.

  PS8576.I5392L48 2018 C813’.54 C2018-901730-9

  C2018-901731-7

  Edited by Daniel Wells

  Copy-edited by Emily Donaldson

  Typeset and Designed by Chris Andrechek

  Cover image: Refrigerator, 1977 by Alex Colville, Copyright A.C. Fine Art Inc.

  All interior paintings by Alex Colville, Copyright A.C. Fine Art Inc.

  Published with the generous assistance of the Canada Council for the Arts, which last year invested $153 million to bring the arts to Canadians throughout the country, and the financial support of the Government of Canada. Biblioasis also acknowledges the support of the Ontario Arts Council (OAC), an agency of the Government of Ontario, which last year funded 1,709 individual artists and 1,078 organizations in 204 communities across Ontario, for a total of $52.1 million, and the contribution of the Government of Ontario through the Ontario Book Publishing Tax Credit and the Ontario Media Development Corporation.

  These stories were inspired by the paintings of Alex Colville

  THE LAST TRUMPET

  Len Sparks has started to look forward to the advice column in the Sackville Tribune-Post. Reading about the situations people get themselves into charges him up in the morning. “Idiot!” he will all but snort over his cereal. “How and why?” Crackling the paper, shaking his head, while Sister watches him with her worried beagle eyes. “How and why?”

  This morning, what he reads makes him go so still and quiet that Sister comes close, needing his palm on her head to forestall a whine. A woman has written in about her impending death. Specifically, her burial. She wants to be placed in her late husband’s coffin, turned on her side to face him, so that when the last trumpet sounds and they wake to the Resurrection, they will embrace each other with joy and rise together.

  Len has to read the letter a second time to be sure the writer is serious. She must be very old, he thinks, then reminds himself that he’s eighty-six. But still. Are there people today who actually believe that kind of thing? Take it literally?

  The advice columnist’s name is Fran, and she gets it right most of the time. With this poor soul she is gentle. Tactful. She suggests that the woman talk to her pastor, then perhaps discuss the matter with an undertaker. Len feels a stab of pity, imagining each man wondering whether to laugh or cry.

  Sister is resting her chin on his knee. He starts in on a good scratch, neck to tail, that makes her close her eyes and sigh deep in her throat. “That’s enough now,” he says after a minute. “Go lie down. Go.” Sister obeys, padding to her wicker bed lined with the cushion whose plaid is dim under a layer of shed hair. Len supposes he should have the thing cleaned. Did Joan ever send it out to be cleaned? He can’t remember.

  He stirs the coffee he poured before he sat down so it would be cool enough to drink when he got to it after his cereal and canned peaches. He can’t stop thinking about that letter. What would it be like to have a rock-solid belief in something like the resurrection of the body? To be able to put aside all logic, quiet all questions and doubts, simply not see images of putrefaction and protruding bone?

  He sips his coffee. Puts more milk in from the small pitcher, his shaking hand making it slop a little into the saucer. It used to drive Joan nuts, the way he drank his coffee almost cold. “I can pour it the night before and leave it in the fridge for you if you like,” she said more than once.

  He’ll visit her this afternoon. It’s the first of the month. October. Might not be able to do it again till spring. For years after she died, he kept his monthly appointment at her grave regardless of the weather. But the last few winters have been fierce—deep snow and ice storms. Last year he actually got one of those pronged attachments for the tip of his cane. He hates it, the way it resembles the claws of some strange beast.

  “I’ve become a strange beast, Sister,” he says aloud. The dog hears her name and raises her head, looking at him hopefully. “No, not yet. Just settle down. We’ll go for a you-know-what in a little while.” Even now, in her twelfth year, she goes all puppyish if she hears walk.

  He wonders if she still misses Brother, or even remembers him. Brother was always the more rambunctious of the two, and one day when he was barely a year old he ran into the street and was hit. Len insisted on letting Sister see and sniff the body so that she would understand that Brother was dead. But it didn’t seem to work. She took on a puzzled air, poking into every corner of the house, searching the face of each visitor as if to say, “Do you know where Brother went?” Or at least, that’s how it seemed to Len. Joan was more prosaic. “She’s not all that bright. Just give it time. She’ll forget he ever existed.” She never said so, but Len knew that, of the two, Joan would have preferred to lose Sister. Brother was definitely her dog. Their personalities matched—curious, adventurous, demanding.

  The dogs got their names by default. It was how the woman at the kennel referred to them as puppies—Sister and Brother. “Whatever you do,” she said, “don’t get two males from the same litter. They’ll be like Tom and Jerry—egging each other on and wrecking the house. Two females are better, even though they can get a little territorial sometimes. But a sister and a brother? Bingo.”

  They couldn’t decide on names. Fred and Ginger? George and Gracie? Beatrice and Benedict? One day they realized the dogs had decided for themselves, the female turning her head if she heard Sister, the male thumping his tail to the sound of Brother.

  Len folds the last section of the paper. Places it on top of the other sections and squares the pile. Then he stacks his breakfast dishes—plate, saucer, cereal bowl, fruit bowl, coffee cup. Readies himself to get up. He still refuses to bring his cane to the table. The cane is for outside. Its place is in the brass umbrella stand by the front door. The day he’d allow himself to hobble around with it in the kitchen—

  He pushes his chair back and gets carefully to his feet, thinking through the distance from table to sink. So far, so good. None of that sickening light-headedness he’s had of late, forcing him to sit right back down. Now. Dishes to the counter. Then. Papers to the recycle bin under the sink. Two trips.

  Is the stack of dishes rattling more than it did yesterday? Would a tray help? He could maybe assemble his breakfast things the night before on a tray. It’s the turning around that’s a bugger. Well, he could set his place at the other end of the table. Facing the sink. Six steps. There. Set the pile on the counter with a minimum of clatter and slide. Now do the whole thing over again to get the newspapers into the box. Jesus.

  A tray. Does he even have a tray? Joan used to bring drinks out to guests. He tries to picture her. Would she have used a tray for t
hat? She’d never let him help, that was for sure. His job was to entertain, be all chuckly and urbane in the living room. If there was ever a crash and a whispered “Shit!” from the kitchen, he would rise and go, saying, “My lady wife hath need of me.” Then, when she hissed at him to just keep out of her way, he would re-emerge, give the company a seraphic smile, and say, “Every day a honeymoon.”

  Company. Joan did love a party, for all her fussing. Probably loved the fussing too. Mostly couples they’d have over, back in the day. Neighbours. His colleagues from the school. Hers from all her volunteer jobs. A few singles. Men, usually. Joan was a man’s woman. No doubt about that.

  Len pauses in the middle of gathering up the papers. There was that one guy. Tall. Balding. On the arts festival committee with Joan. Was he the one with the silver Honda? Would he have come to the house? Taken a drink? Shaken Len’s hand?

  No way to know. And no point dwelling on it now. It’s in the past. He’s made it to the sink for the second time. The papers are in the box. He’ll wash the dishes, sit for a bit, then take Sister for her walk.

  *

  It’s cold for early October. He should have worn his heavier coat. His November coat, as he thinks of it. The windbreaker that got him through September is just light enough this morning to leave him chilled. He could have used gloves, too.

  How do animals manage the temperature extremes, he wonders, watching Sister meander and sniff, seeking the perfect place to squat. All this one has is the same short pelt all year round. True, he does tie her coat on her in the winter, and puts booties on her feet for the salt. But still. He doesn’t know much about beagles, where they originated, why they were bred to be the way they are. Something to do this afternoon. Google beagles.

  Sister has finished, and watches apologetically as Len plants his cane, bracing himself with it to go down on one knee and pick up the mess with the hand already inside the plastic bag. It’s all about preparation, he thinks, hoisting himself back up onto his feet.

  He stashes the plastic bag in the first waste container he finds, then heads down Bridge to Main. He and Sister always enter the waterfowl park near St. Paul’s, where Joan was rector’s warden the two years before she was killed. Her funeral was huge. Crowd spilling out the door. People he barely knew coming close to take his hand or squeeze his shoulder and murmur something. None of them the face he kept looking for, in spite of himself. Surely the guy wouldn’t have the gall. Or would he? Slip in the back at the last minute. Slip out again just before the end. Take off in his silver Honda.

  They pass St. Paul’s, then take the path to the boardwalk. They’re a bit late this morning, so the mist has mostly lifted off the water. Still, there is that point on the near horizon where everything dissolves into grey—no distinction between water and sky. The sight always cheers Len, for some reason.

  Cattails knocking against the handrails on either side are already crisping, and most of the songbirds have left. But there’s still plenty of chatter and chirp to distract Sister from her sniffing. She woofs at a squawking raven overhead, then gets so fixated on some gum underfoot that Len has to pull her away.

  When they come to their usual first resting spot, one of the little lookouts built off to the side and ringed with benches, they find it occupied. A young couple. Both smoking. Both wearing dark glasses on this cold grey morning. As Len passes by, pulling Sister back to his side and already trying to sight the next lookout, he hears the young woman say, “There are other. Issues. Besides. That.”

  One of those conversations, from the sound of it. Remember them? Joan pelting him with words. Him just waiting for it to be over. Do all women do that? Stir things up just when they’ve gotten settled and calm? Insist there is some other issue whose existence was always news to him, yet for which he was somehow always to blame?

  He never repaid her in kind. Could have. Could have pointed a finger. Said a few words of his own. Would it have changed anything, if he had? Or would she have found some way to turn it around and as usual blame him?

  Sister whines softly at his side and he realizes he’s been tightening up on the leash. “Sorry, old girl. Let’s have a bit of a rest.” They’ve come to the next lookout which is vacant, thank God. Len sits stiffly down on the bench, feeling pain transfer from his feet to his knees. It never leaves now, just moves around.

  The fog has lifted. He can see where the boardwalk zigzags out into the marsh, then back around to solid ground. The surface of the water is pocked with single raindrops. A muskrat noses open a seam, then submerges again.

  This is usually when the simplicity of the place, its birds and animals living so completely in the present, settles him down and cheers him up. But he’s morbid this morning. Brooding on things best left buried. Must be the effect of that letter to the advice columnist. Damn fool woman wanting to wake from the dead in her husband’s arms. Beats opening your eyes alone inside your own coffin, he supposes. Having to heave against the lid, lift all that weight of dirt, claw your way to the surface in answer to the last trumpet sounding. Except he doubts she sees it that way. Probably imagines things being all lovely and easy and miraculous. Likely hasn’t occurred to her that when her husband opens his own eyes and sees his wife again—this time for all eternity—his reaction might be something less than unmitigated joy.

  Len hasn’t a clue what happens after death, and is not sure he cares. He stayed away from the church for a year after Joan’s funeral. Kept telling himself he’d never go back. But in time, he did. And now he’s there most Sunday mornings. It’s an outing. A chance to see people.

  When Joan was alive he only went because she was so involved with the place. She ran it the way she ran the arts festival committee and the library board. Hustled him into his tie and out the door every Sunday morning so as to have time to perch on the kneeler in front of their pew to pray—eyes shut, slightly smiling lips moving. Len himself just sat. He had been raised a Presbyterian, and his parents had looked little and lost at the Anglican mass Joan had insisted on for their wedding.

  Joan knew how to insist. It was her gift. How she got things done. They never talked about her habit of praying prior to a Sunday service—what she prayed for, what she believed in. Besides herself, that is. Yes, Joan Sparks definitely believed in Joan Sparks.

  A pair of mallards glide past. Perfectly in sync, they upend to feed. Do they mate for life, Len wonders. Something else to look up. Imagine how serene that would be. This is your mate. There will be no other. So just paddle your feet and don’t even think about it.

  But what if one of them dies? When the police came to the door with the news that Joan had been hit by a van while jaywalking across Main, Len’s first thought was, Just like Brother. His second was, I never told her. She’ll never know that I knew.

  It had been close at times, over the years. Oddly enough, the day he found out, it was easy. Maybe he was in shock. He got through dinner with the usual small talk about work. Had no problem leaving out the part about getting a headache after lunch, asking another teacher to supervise his spare, knocking off early. Walking home as usual, wondering if Joan would be there, or off doing one of her projects. Then, from half a block away, seeing a silver Honda just pulling out of their driveway. Joan on the porch watching it. Suddenly running down the steps. The car pausing. The driver leaning out. Joan bending to kiss him.

  Len seemed to know exactly what to do—step quickly back behind a tall hedge and watch as the Honda passed him by, the driver invisible through the sunlit windshield. He felt as if he were in a play, performing a role he had been rehearsing all his life. Next the script directed him to turn and walk to that little cafe around the corner. Sit over one cooling cup of coffee until his usual coming-home time.

  That night he lay in the dark beside Joan, aware of the inches between them. Feeling words crowding the back of his throat. Why? How long—? What does he—? It had been weeks since she’
d wanted him to touch her. But she had always been temperamental that way. And he’d always just ridden it out, relieved and grateful to have her back when she came back.

  So that was what he did. And when, in time, she did come back, did slide those few inches to press up against him, all he felt was the usual gratitude and relief. And though he never stopped looking for it, he never saw the silver Honda again.

  *

  Although beagle-type dogs have existed for 2500 years, the modern breed was developed in Great Britain around the 1830s from several breeds...

  Len resisted getting a computer at first. Held out as long as he could against Joan, who started agitating for one in the early nineties.

  Beagles are scent hounds, developed primarily for tracking hare, rabbit, deer, and other small game. They have a great sense of smell and tracking instinct that sees them employed as detection dogs for prohibited agricultural imports and foodstuffs in quarantine...

  He gave in, of course, thinking that would be the end of it and discovering it was only the beginning. Updates all the time and always the latest gizmo Joan just had to have. Then the desktop/laptop debate, which Len conceded almost before it began. Then, within months of acquiring the machine he is using now and will likely take to the grave, Joan was pricing smartphones, claiming she needed to be free of anything plugged in at home. Does she mean me? Len remembers musing at the time.

  Joan’s phone became a third presence, their electronic child, never asleep, forever interrupting. She claimed it consolidated and streamlined things for her, but it seemed to Len that it complicated her life, harassing and obsessing her. She was focused on it when she stepped off the curb and was hit.

  Beagles are intelligent but single-minded, and popular pets because of their size, even temper, and lack of inherited health problems.

  What if human beings were bred for specific tasks, the way domesticated animals are? Not for the first time, Len fantasizes some extraterrestrial race, whose intelligence compares to that of Homo sapiens the way his does to Sister’s, arriving one day on Earth and taking over. In just a few generations, humans would be sorted into functional breeds—some to do menial work, some to invent or create, others to organize and keep records. Len is aware that he finds something attractive in the notion. Knowing one’s role, one’s nature, and being unwilling, even unable, to deviate from it.